During a recent coaching session, I had a sister ask me, “What do I do when judgment is coming at me from someone else?” Can you relate to this? Have you ever had a time when someone criticized you or judged you for something and you wanted to just shrug it off. You wanted to pretend like it didn’t bother you, but deep down inside you were taking in the judgement and it hurt.
If you have done this, you’re not alone. It happens to a lot of women.
In the coaching session I asked our sister, “What would you do right now if I approached you and started to judge you for having 3 arms?” She giggled a bit when she said, “I would think you are crazy.” Of course she would because she knows she doesn’t have three arms, so if I’m judging her on that, then I must be the one whose crazy.
Then I said what would you do if I approached you with judgement about how you parent, such as questioning why you do certain things with your son. In an instant the energy changed. There was no more giggling or calling me crazy. Things got serious. While I was crazy for judging her for having three arms, things got more serious when I judged her about her son.
What was different? There was one big difference between the two examples. The difference is that there was some part of her that knew she doesn’t have three arms. She could own having two arms all day long and stand in not having three. She reacted to the example of judging her parenting differently because some part of her believed what I was saying. There was some part of her that believed I was right about judging her parenting. When she got that, everything shifted.
If our sister believed that she is a good parent, she would have reacted the same in the example of judging her parenting as she did when judging her for having two arms.
Just like our sister, if you own any amount of judgement from someone else, there is a reason why. It’s an opportunity to look for the clues in what beliefs you hold around the judgment someone else is making.
When you become conscious of your beliefs, you have the opportunity to decide whether you want to keep that belief or rewrite it into something that is more serving to you. Consciousness in what is happening gives you the power to choose!
Are there places in your life that you struggle with others criticizing or judging you? Can you feel how some part of you believes what you are being criticized or judged for when it bothers you? Share your thoughts and feelings with our sisterhood. We all learn and grow together when we share.