It’s been a bit since I’ve written. Life has been crazy for the last few months. Every little bit I go through these redesigns in my life, this was a big one for me. For a couple months, I felt more lost than I did when I went through my divorce over 10 years ago and my life plan came crashing down. For those of you who didn’t know me then…that means I was really lost for a bit!
A few months ago, I lost my dog, Crash. He was my best friend for almost 15 years and he was always my anchor. I remember the day I saw him at the puppy rescue like it was yesterday. I learned so much from Crash about unconditional love. In his final days, I got a full understanding of the depth of all he did for me in our time together. What an amazing gift! I describe Crash as a really big being in a dog body. He lived up to that until his very last day.
I have known for some time, long before Crash passed, that his passing would mark the closing of one chapter of my life and the opening of a new one. I really had no idea what that meant but I was tracking bigness in the air!
I could write a whole book about the changes that have happened, for your sake and mine I’m going to give you the cliff notes version. Some time back I had a vision of owning a retreat house. The vision was a quick day dream that I acknowledged and filed away in my “someday” mental file. You probably have one of those mental files where you place the dreams that sound great but you aren’t engaged in making them come true yet. That’s where the retreat house went for me.
Then late last year, a property listing found me. I say it that way because I was not actively looking at houses or property. After looking at the pictures of the property for several weeks, I finally said yes to going and seeing it. Let’s just say I didn’t know it at the time but I was saying yes to so much more than looking at a piece of property.
When I drove up to look at the house I was met but a giant pile of junk in front of the house. Many people might have turned around and drove away from the looks of the outside of the place. I couldn’t, the property was already calling to my heart! I looked past the junk to the potential of what could be.
When I stepped on the deck and caught the view (the same one in the photo above), it took my breath away and I got tears in my eyes. I knew this property was sacred ground and it called me to be its guardian. I knew right then and there with all my heart, that this is home! All this before I ever even saw the inside of the house.
There was a lot of divine orchestration over the next few weeks. The house I owned that had to be sold and my new home was on the verge of foreclosure so we needed some help from the bank to extend the foreclosure timeline to make it all work. In six very short weeks, that felt like a lifetime, it all came together!
The retreat house that I dreamed about got moved out of my someday file to right now!
The house and the property are a hot mess. In the couple weeks that I’ve been here two 20 yard dumpsters of trash been removed from the property. It’s a mess but I wake up every day feeling blessed that it’s my mess. I have my work cut out for me, some people think I’m crazy for taking this on. I’m kinda used to that…I’ve been called crazy before and I’m sure this won’t be the last time. Here’s to embracing crazy!
I started this article admitting I was lost. Maybe I still am a bit. I don’t really know where all this is going but I’m sure that I am lost in the right direction. Sometimes you must let go of your direction and plans to make room for the new. Being lost led me here and I know in my heart that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be!
I look forward to sharing more about this adventure with you and maybe one day you will get to experience for yourself on retreat.
Have you ever taken a big leap into something that others thought you were crazy to do? I would love to hear about it. Let’s share our crazy leaps together!